“Never Once Alone”

Well, a fair amount has happened since my extremely short post with a video and wallpaper-sized graphic of Anthem Lights’ “The Unknown”. And while I don’t think I’ve learned that lesson as well as I should have just yet nor do I think that the lesson is over, I will say that my current theme song – if you’ll call it that – is Matt Redman’s “Never Once”. Before I go any further, I’d also like to say thank you to anyone who might have prayed for me during my time in “the unknown”.

Remember (or cheat and look back at it, whatever) my post “And So a New Book Begins…” where I mentioned a full-time freelance job that had great growth opportunity? Well, that’s quite changed since “The Unknown” post – really, not a while lot of time. A misunderstanding (mixed with some forgetfulness and much pressure and a ton of resulting emotion (yeah… those few days were anything but pretty)) ended me up with doing that job for ten hours a week.

Pretty devastating right?

Actually… no.

After all the stress and pressure and up-in-the-air feeling, I was happy that at least something was basically set in place, stabilizing my crazy world and emotions at last. Plus, it felt kind of freeing. Maybe it’s only because of the above mentioned, but I wonder if perhaps I was glad to have some of the pressure of the job itself relieved even somewhat. Well, I worked my ten hours last week and tried to get to where I needed to be. And then, two days ago, my contract ended.

Say what?! Cue the emotional wreckage of the weekend before!!

Wrong. apple jam

I didn’t feel that at all. Sure, I was disappointed that I hadn’t got up to speed yet and thus my client/employer had to make that business decision, but I don’t blame him one bit and think that he made the wise decision. And that freeing feeling I’d just mentioned? Yeah. Even stronger than the first time.

But isn’t this the kind of stuff I want to do? And didn’t it come quicker than anything else I applied for of this nature?

Yes and yes. But the Lord has granted me a heart of contentment about this. The extra cash would have been nice, but I’m not quite ready to do this sort of thing – at least not as a freelancer! God knew that. I know that. My client/employer knows that. And I’m okay with it. God clearly has something else in store. And perhaps He gave me what time I had with this job to teach me what He’s taught me. On a more horizontal level, this may also be a small step toward being able to do this elsewhere.

But I might also note that God was gracious in having given me such a gracious client/employer. I could have been working for who-knows-what-kind-of-brand-of-nasty, but instead, He set me up with a man who showed incredible patience, civility, and kindness. A man who, though he had to make this decision, is willing to receive anything I might send his way in the future and is open to rehiring me once I’ve learned what I need to. I’ve had plenty of kind supervisors and managers, but I think this one takes the cake (granted, I’ve never struggled anywhere near this much with a job before either!)

So that’s where that all is: resolved and dissolved. 🙂

In more-or-less unrelated news, I’ve had a couple more interviews for full-time jobs and have a couple more coming up (not to mention something like sixty more jobs sitting in my inbox for me to apply for…). One of the interviews I had was for a Christian organization that reaches out to those in society who need help, and more importantly, the Lord. I’m hoping for that job most since it’s in a Christian environment (which is definitely ideal!), even though I’m not sure what all the job entails or even what it pays. And I also started working at Walmart over the weekends. I’m in cosmetics, of all departments. And if you know me, I hardly touch makeup. (Seriously, God must be having some fun with me. First, He gave me that freelancing job to market beauty products, and now He’s given me a department of the stuff to deal with!) So I’ve got some learning to do, both so far as makeup goes and in doing something more than just cashiering.


That’s this past week in a very much condensed account of events. An account begun with a plea to see more than just His shadow leading me into the gorge and ended (maybe?) by the recognition that He was walking beside me the whole time I was on the foggy mountain pass. (Double-barreled Narnia reference (Prince Caspian and The Horse and His Boy, if you want to know), for those of you who are wondering where on earth I pulled such statements from.)

And so I conclude with another song:


2 thoughts on ““Never Once Alone”

  1. It is a blessing to see how much the Lord has been growing you recently. I am glad that He is giving you peace about the circumstances. Your friends are praying for you =)


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