Fifty Shades of Gross

Seeing’s how the release of a certain disgusting movie based on a certain disgusting book is coming out this weekend, I figured I might as well post this. I have not and will not read Fifty Shades of Grey or its sequels. I will not see the movie. I know very little of it and am quite happy to keep it that way.


Well, because… yuck.

Wait, didn’t I just say that I know hardly anything about it?

Yes, I did.

But isn’t that like judging a book by its cover?

greengooseberryjam_6896_16x9First off, I know a slight smidgen of what the book is like between the covers. And second… I don’t think I really need to go much beyond the cover of this one to know come to the conclusion that this is a piece of disgusting, wicked, sinful human nature.

My first introduction to this book (and its sequels) was when I waitressed at a family restaurant just a couple years ago. It was totally dead in there and the TVs were on. At that particular time, “The View” was running and they were talking about Fifty Shades. I paid very little attention till one of the cooks came out, saw what they were talking about, and said, “Oh, yeah, they’re planning on making a movie out of it!” And then she went on to say that it’d be interesting to see how a film adaptation would go. I asked her why and she relayed to me that, if the film went into the detail the book did, it’d be “borderline pornographic”.

Oh, joy.

Thankfully, she didn’t divulge details (I don’t think she would have, even if I hadn’t asked her to spare me), but she said that though she enjoyed the book, there were times she’d have to set the book down, go for an hour-long walk, and take a shower, just to “cleanse” herself.

Yeah, I think I’ve got more than enough reason to avoid the stuff, especially after getting that glimpse of my co-worker’s reading experience.

Add to that PluggedIn’s blog post about a study done on how the sexual violence described in the pages may affect readers… yeah.

As if sexual content wasn’t glamorized enough in real-life and definitely in the media, this ex-Twilight-fanfiction had to get uber-popular just to add to the mess.

Why is the most private interaction between a man and woman – abusive or not – made for the enjoyment of the public? I’m not just talking about Fifty Shades of Gray here, though it’s the worst example I know of. Bedrooms have doors and they’re supposed to be used. You know, to keep the rest of us out. Personally, what happens inside stays inside and on the other side of the door that stands between it and me. I don’t care if it’s the best and sweetest night to end the wedding of two wonderful characters, a one-time thing between two drunks at a bar, or an abusive whatever between a stalker and his prey. I don’t care if the characters are married or not, if the interaction is right or wrong. Leave me out of it; it’s not something I want to or should be seeing or knowing about.

God made sex to be holy – that is, set apart, sacred. To pervert it is to go against God’s plan and intention. To glorify that perversion? Congratulations, you’ve just turned something beautiful and wonderful into however many shades of vile and gross.


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